Who Is A Dieted Daughter?
When Children Are Told They Are Overweight and Their Food Choices Are Controlled By Their Parents, a Cascade of Events Occur:
When children are told that they are overweight, they are hearing that their bodies are wrong and unacceptable and they begin to disconnect from them
When children are told that their bodies are not acceptable, they then interpret that to mean that they are not acceptable
When children are told their bodies are not acceptable, they believe that the only way that they can find love and acceptance is to lose weight
When children are told they need to eat differently because they are too heavy, they believe they are different and feel rejected
When children are dieted by their parents, they feel rejected by their parents who are reinforcing the message that there is something wrong with the child
When they are dieted, which includes any effort to control what and how they eat, the child feels punished and deprived
When children are dieted, they are hearing the message that their appetites, their bodies and their wants and needs can’t be trusted
They feel inferior to their peers who are deemed acceptable, beautiful and loveable because they are in thinner bodies
They feel their needs and wants cannot be trusted or voiced
Worst of all, the very people that were to love them unconditionally have now become the enemy, leaving them feeling profoundly insecure and alone
They feel vulnerable as they move into the world with the very body that is judged so harshly, fully on display
Because of This Early Dieting by Their Parents, There Are Profound Effects on Their Psychological and Physiological Development:
Their body composition and metabolism are greatly altered, leading them to likely be more overweight as adults
Their preoccupation with food increases, leading to chronic feels of deprivation and food insecurity
Their self consciousness of their bodies leads them to often hide, try to emotionally play small and stop asking for what they need
The pain of being ridiculed because of their weight, leads them to overcompensate in other areas to try and be acceptable
Because their parents, who are now the Food Police, cannot be trusted to offer unconditional love, and so become unsafe. As parents become unsafe, the world becomes unsafe and they struggle with a chronic stae of anxiety
Attachment needs to be loved unconditionally are disrupted crating insecure and avoicdance attachment patterns
Interpersonal relationships are riddled with resentment and unmet needs
There Is A Path To Healing!!!!
The problem is complex, and the roadmap honors that complexity.
Dieted Daughters Program for Recovery:
*A unique model of healing explored through individual sessions
*A group 10 week workshop to deconstruct the effects of dieting on your development and in a loving, group setting you feel safe to create change
*Intensive Weekend Therapeutic Retreats to dive deeper and transform pain into resilency and despair into hope
*Coaching for Parents of Overweight Children to prevent the Dieted Daughter effect
Resources - Eating Disorder Help
Here are some links for additional information, support, and guidance for those struggling with eating disorders: