Beyond The Masks

Melinda's Musings
Like so many of us, I remember the first day that COVID-19 became real. I was taking a walk near the park by my office in Columbia talking to my sister on the phone. We were talking about all the news reports about COVID and I was still debating what it all meant, was it really as bad as they were saying, what would it mean for all of us? You know the drill as we were all probably in the same headspace. My sister (who I always look to for advice and see as an authority on most things) became agitated and somewhat frustrated with me and said "You have to close your office now. You cannot be seeing people in person and emphasized that this was indeed real and serious!"

Like many, I watched as people's lives became nightmares and that this virus was decimating people financially, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I had moments of feeling panic about the present and the future, sleepless nights worried and affected by all I was witnessing around me and many days of not being sure what the fall out was going to have psychologically on all of us.

Though I was not a front line health care provider or out in the world being chronically exposed as many were, I did want to help. I realized quickly that my unique skill set could bring something to the table. I am a great listener and have spent all of my personal and professional life knowing how to be present for people going through horrible life events. My professional training armed me with understanding how trauma affected people both neurologically (the alterations in their brain and nervous system) as well as the negative, perseverating beliefs and fears that can become so prevalent and about how events can get frozen so that we can walk around constantly triggered by early fears and experiences we had when this pandemic began. EMDR proved to be phenomenal tool and the focus of my sessions with people quickly moved to coping with everything that was changing, teaching strategies to calm their nervous systems and practice self soothing techniques and the benefits of mindfulness where we focus on just what is right in front of us and not get too hijacked by thoughts of the future.

What I was acutely aware of though, both from the beginning and continuing as I write this now, is that we have done a terrible job of allowing ourselves and others to do a bit more of a deep dive into talking about our own individual stories and how this has affected us. When it comes to moving through a crisis and getting to the other side, we have to focus on how this has affected us specifically. Each of us brought to this time a unique past, our unique way of how we have responded in the past emotionally, physically and spiritually to stress and major life loss. The problem is that we were now faced with something no one has ever faced before, with such intensity and for such a long duration, that our usual coping skills and resiliency wasn't always working or holding up. Yes, we were "all in this together", but behind the scenes we were each having our own private realities that at some point or throughout likely involved meltdowns, panic, exhaustion and hopelessness.

It is time, to move beyond talking about the crisis and to begin talking about ourselves. We need to share what is happening within us not just what is happening around us. All of our being is calling for healing. For true healing to begin, our pain must be witnessed.

I am offering a workshop that is called "Beyond the Masks" designed to offer a space, with structure and a format for us to be witnesses for each other and to have our individual experience witnessed and honored.

This workshop will be held on Wednesdays from 12-1:30 pm for 4 weeks beginning Wed, September 22. The cost is $230.

You can sign up for this workshop on my website or contact me directly for more information. I do not know what lies ahead, but I do know that if we can process what has happened so far, we will be in a far better position to handle what may come next.

Peace,
Melinda