ReConnections Blog

By Melinda Brett on 6/25/2013 12:00 AM

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
~ Buddha Quote ~

All the time I hear people, especially women, say that they are very kind and giving.  They take care of the physical and emotional needs of each one they love.  In fact it is like a full time job assessing needs, designing plans to fulfill that need and then executing the plan.  So, for one woman this can mean, mom, who is ill, their spouse, who is stressed and tired, their child, who can have any number of life problems.  Each of these people can rely on this one woman as their one and only source of emotional support, along with actual physical support, as in doing things for them or earning the money to help them meet their needs.

Often when I talk to this woman, I find out that although these people are the focus of all her time and attention, it is not always returned.  In fact, these people just assume that their daughter, mom, wife, is endlessly capable and probably doing exactly what she wants to do.  They may get this impression because the woman acts as if it is true.  She is a work horse, getting all her work done and still being there for her loved ones.  However, what they don’t see is how she is slowly building up resentment.  Sure, it comes through when she is irritable and snaps at them, but they just figure she is hormonal or something and it doesn’t mean she will not continue to do everything for everyone.

Women have bought the idea that it is their duty to care for all.  Maybe this comes from the biological imperative to be nurturing.  Some of it comes from cultural and societal expectations for sure.  But the amazing thing is that women accept it and buy into it making it a sport.  They will be the most amazing mom, spouse, daughter, sister, friend..

Who deserves more love than this woman?  Who is the most capable of understanding her needs?  Who has the most experience in assessing, planning and executing need fulfillment?

Do what the Buddha says and love yourself and show yourself the affection you deserve.

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